What have you done with your tongue?

This evening after work my hubby and I attended an Islamic lecture in town by Sheikh Abdul Bary Yahya from Al Maghrib Institute. I'd never heard of them before but it turns out they are a massive non profit dawah and Islamic education group. So the title was : What have you done with your tongue?

I'd never heard this particular Sheikh speaking either. I have to admit I was a little wary, as I'm not a fan of the loud, raving style of speaker. Not that they are better/worse in character or knowledge, I just prefer a softer, gentle style of delivery and the Sheikh was absolutely brilliant. Funny, knowledgeable, down to earth...exactly the style I love alhamdulillah. It was billed as 3 hours but only last 1.5 hours which absolutely flew by, despite the fact I was starving after work and the baby was kicking me in the belly every 2 minutes!!


So here is what he went through (from my notes):

Your tongue can hurt other people like no other organ you possess. While your arms, hands and legs can physically hurt people who are close to you, your tongue can hurt people no matter where in the world they are. We need to be careful about what we say because every single word uttered or written is being noted down in your book of deeds by the angels Rakib and Atib.

In the past, Islamic scholars were extremely careful about what they said, and even counted the number of words they spoke in a week, so as to remain aware of what they were actually saying.

Your tongue expresses what is in your heart, and therefore reflects what is in it. So if you are constantly using foul language, it says something about the nature of your heart. When considering marrying someone you should look at how they speak to their parents and family as an example of how they may speak to you - respectfully or not. The Prophet salAllahu alaihi wa selam said that a person's belief is not firm until his heart is upright, and his heart is not upright until his tongue is upright.

The sunnah is to speak neither too little nor too much, but to be moderate, and a person of faith will speak when it is beneficial to others, and not when it is useless talk without reward. Remember that the majority of those entering hellfire do so because of what they SAID. The Sahabah r.a. asked the Prophet s.a.w.s for a deed by which they could enter Jennah (Paradise).  He told them: 'Be mindful of this' - while pointing to his tongue. Shyness is a part of Imaan and being careful not to hurt others with your words is a part of shyness.

If you see something wrong happening you should try to stop it, but if you cannot physically stop it, you should speak against it, or at least remind the person that it is not right in the best possible way. Don't get fooled into thinking that if you have done this deed yourself that you should not say it - this is not hypocrisy - we all have an obligation to speak as it acts as a reminder for ourselves also.

The Prophet s.a.w.s said that there are people who speak words only who do not realize that they could be tossed into hell for this one utterance, falling into hell a distance of 70 years. So we need to be mindful that we do not mock or joke about Islam, even when you have no bad intentions, as this could lead you to hell. Mocking Islam can put you out of a state of Islam, whereas some major sins do not. We need to continually repent to Allah swt for the sins we know of and those we are unaware we committed. A major sin is one for which a warning or punishment has been given in the Quran or the Sunnah such as stealing, adultery etc. Ignorance is not an excuse if you have been negligent about gaining knowledge i.e. if you decide to 'not learn' something because you think you won't be held accountable, you are wrong.

Try to make remembrance of Allah swt (dhikr) often in your speech. Try not to have conversation going too long before you mention Allah swt. The Prophet s.a.w.s said that speaking a lot without remembering Allah swt hardens your heart. The more you speak, the more mistakes you make and your sins therefore increase. If you start to control your tongue, then your heart will start to cleanse as you sin less.

One of the scholars once pledged to give charity everytime he backbited someone, as he had this natural urge to gossip. (Remember backbiting is when it is true but the person would not like to hear it said about him, slander is if it is not true). This is a good idea to help control the urge to gossip but you must make the charity neither too large that you will not give it, nor too small that you do not feel the loss of it. Allah swt said that He will not forgive you for backbiting until the person you did it to has forgiven you, and if you do not gain this, your good deeds will be apportioned to them on the Day of Judgement. If you run out of good deeds, you will start to take some of their bad deeds instead.

If you do not mention the person's name then it not strictly backbiting, but if everyone can realize who it is from your speech then it is.

The Prophet s.a.w.s said if you can take care of two things, you can have Jennah: What is between your jaw (your tongue) and what is between your legs (avoiding adultery and fornication).

That was it, but it was a lovely lecture and mashaAllah the Sheikh delivered it beautifully, may Allah swt bless him and any error here is my own in its retelling and may Allah swt forgive me for that.